He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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