i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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