So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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