I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize