it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
