Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
