none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
