There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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