If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
