Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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