I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
