sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
