You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
