I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
