woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
if only i could text you this smell
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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