my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
