i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I lost the right to judge tonight
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
