I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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