I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
