Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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