my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
