Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
