I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
my liver is dry heaving
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize