did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
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