Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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