windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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