i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
