I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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