I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
