He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
