I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Enjoy the penises
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
