Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
