You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
