I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
how drunk are you?
Several
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
