I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
