When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
