is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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