I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Everclear isn't food dammit
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
