Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So drunk its hurt
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Randomize
