Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
