I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
