I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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