I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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