I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize