I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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