Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
