I hate all girls vehemently.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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