Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There was a lot of him and a little penis
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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