what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
