I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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