You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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