Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Someone came in the potted fern
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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