can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
