I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
