she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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