we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
