so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
