You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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