Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So squirting runs in the family.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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