im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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