Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
