Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
