That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I deserve this hangover.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize