Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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