would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Less talking, more tequila
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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