Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
