i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
