I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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