my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Im part way to drunk.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
