is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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