Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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