therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
