i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
