I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize