omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
